Saturday, March 04, 2006

Cats & Jesus: Original Mischief

The Onion, a fake-news newspaper, ran a funny piece about cats. This being Lent, an excerpt is below . . . .
Are Your Cats Old Enough To Learn About Jesus?
By Marian Byers
February 28, 2006 | Issue 42•09 | The Onion

People often ask me when they should teach the Good News to their housecats. I have but one answer: "What are you waiting for?"
• • A pet is a beloved part of your family, and as a Christian, you should do everything you can to guarantee that this valued member of your family receives the glorious eternal reward for which Christ gave His very life. Think of the alternative: your cat mired in darkness for eternity because you put off a 10-minute conversation.
• • My own cats accepted Jesus into their hearts before they even opened their eyes. The light of salvation has brightened their lives, but perhaps the most noticeable change has been in me. I am filled with warmth knowing their eternal souls have been saved.
• • Kittens' hearts, at birth, are filled with what theologians call "original mischief." Mischief, if left to grow on its own, can sprout into evil. That's why you must fill their hearts with Jesus instead. If you wait, your cats might find seductive role models among the back-alley strays and rough felines from the wrong side of town. . . .
- - excerpt from The Onion - -
Lilacpoint Siamese Dan Zi is the spawn of Satan, some suspect.
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• • Photo: to come

Siamese cat.


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